Red Flag: Future Faking (The Blueprint of Empty Promises)

When you’ve been through a toxic relationship, you often feel like you’ve lost your "internal compass." You might feel broken, or like you're "gullible" for believing things that never happened. But there is a reason you stayed, and it usually comes down to a tactic called Future Faking.

Future faking is when someone makes grand, detailed promises about the future—marriage, a trip, buying a home, or finally "changing"—specifically to keep you around in the miserable present.

The Tactic: Using "Someday" to Excuse "Today"

Future faking works because it gives you a hit of hope when things are at their worst. When the relationship feels heavy, painful, or confusing, the other person "sells" you a version of the future where everything is fixed.

It sounds like:

• "I know things are hard right now, but once we move into that new place, I’ll be the partner you deserve."

• "I’m looking at rings; I just want everything to be perfect before I ask."

• "I’m going to start therapy next week, and then we can finally have the life we talked about."

You aren't "visionary" in these moments—you are hopeful. And that hope is used as a hook to make you tolerate behavior that you know, deep down, isn't okay.

The Red Flag: The Follow-Through Gap

The clearest red flag of future faking is a consistent, painful pattern: Plans are made, but they never materialize.

Think about the last year: How many times did you emotionally "pack your bags" for a trip that never happened? How many times did you prepare your heart for a change that never came? When the date for the promise arrives, there is always an excuse. Even worse, they might blame you for why the promise fell through, saying you "ruined the mood" by asking about it.

The Reflection: The Exhaustion of "Almost"

Take a moment to check in with yourself: How much of your current exhaustion comes from waiting for a "someday" that keeps moving?

When you are in a state of chronic stress, your brain clings to these promises because the alternative—admitting that this is all there is—feels too painful to bear. You aren't "broken" for believing them; you were surviving by holding onto the only light they offered you, even if that light was an illusion.

How to Reclaim Your Reality

To break the spell of future faking, you have to stop looking at the "movie" they are playing in your head and start looking at the room you are standing in right now.

• Count the Receipts: Look at the track record, not the talk. If they have promised a change a hundred times and delivered it zero times, the "change" isn't coming. The reality is what is happening today.

• Stop Defending the "Potential": We often stay because we love the potential of the person. But you cannot live in a house built of potential. You can only live in what is actually built.

• Observe the "Distraction": Notice if they bring up a big, exciting future plan every time you try to talk about a current problem. If the "future" is being used to silence your "now," it’s a tactic.

Ready to stop living for an illusion?

If you are tired of empty promises and you're ready to find your way back to a life that is steady and real, I invite you to join my masterclass. We provide the formula to help you see through the "someday" and return to your true, certain self.

🚀 [Click here to access the Masterclass: Reclaim Your Self]